just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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