You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
