Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
