There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
