Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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