Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
