Me too!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize