I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
