i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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