Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
