lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize