I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
