After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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