I wish i was in the wii world.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
