before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
