Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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