Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
