Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the day after is always just damage control
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
