lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
