I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
