Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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