I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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