i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
