i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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