You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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