so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
