READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
