I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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