More tranny stories later!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
