if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
