gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
