her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
hell yes lets make some ravioli
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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