I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize