Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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