Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
