Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
