He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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