So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
