mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
