think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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