I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
