whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize