if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
