I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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