They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
