Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Dicks are not precious.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
