I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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