do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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