Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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