Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
