This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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