in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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