I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
