Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
