I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
