i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
