ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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